mixtape

mixtape. metaphor or my life. i wanted to name this entry “mixed emotions” but thought it lame, hell, i could be more creative than that ei? at least i tried haha. today was a rollercoaster of emotions, occurences, encounters, u name it, i experienced it. hard to believe? hmmmm, not really. im sure you’ve had one of these days!

i kinda knew the day would be interesting, as a drove out of the darkness of cavite at 4am (i do that to avoid traffic, yes i know, 4am is kinda paranoid already) and as i listened to dzmm with cheryl and alvin on the airwaves with news and text greetings, it freaked me to know that there was yet another fatality on the road, a surgeon avoiding a “warning sign” (oh god how ironic) subsequently hit a lamppost and died. a family of 7 died in a fire. =( … what a way to start the day. i grabbed a few zzzz’s upon arriving in manila and avoided umagang kay ganda knowing i would hear the same sad news. i knew it would be a loooonnnggg day as i prepared everything for skycable, asian food channel, rayban and the eheads reunion concert dvd premier at megamall on the agenda. as i waited for trusty jon, my road manager, i ran down my mental list of to-do’s. on a personal note, i am currently a total fashion disaster and never got in touch with project runway finalist phillip tampus (i ADORE him) who was supposed to make me an outfit for the rock awards…looks like im gonna recycle something from a previous rock awards argh. anyway…ive decided to turn a new leaf and start wearing HEELS. horrors. but yes, i will indeedy do, do this. it all started when ysabel and i were trolling around tiendesitas the other night and she convinced me that a pair of 3 INCH high wedgies was totally awesome (it takes a 14 year old to convince me of that!). As i teetered to abs for a briefing for our trip to dubai, with my nails digging deeply into jon’s arm (road manager crutch), the walk from the parking lot up to tfc global felt like the bataan death march for my feet, but i held my head high, heck, i was 3 inches taller, that should make it worth it! As i towered over an old friend i saw in the lobby from levis, i felt like ruffa gutierrez. the meeting was exciting and i was actually looking forward to another trip abroad with the guys (plus the dawn, plus bamboo, plus kamikazee, which is always a wild trip when they are around). i worried when tfc informed me i am the only one without a visa, dont need one. eh? u sure? i cant imagine my band freaking out if i get held back at the dubai airport, but tfc is super super sure i dont need one, being a blue passport holder. i aint no blue blood, but my passport surely is. meeting wrapped up and as i walk the firm carpet of tfc global, i cave in and remove my shoes, hand them to jon and trot out to the lobby. forget vanity, i love my feet and the torture was intense enough already. as we navigated the myriad halls of abs-cbn, we came upon a store and i spotted a funky pair of sandals ALSO 3 inches high (oh here i go again!!!) and the saleslady charmingly said…”mam, SKEYCHERRS po yan”…how could i resist THAT??? so there i was, towering above everyone once more with a smug smile on my face coz of my new skey-cherrssss. hunger strikes, rain pounds outside (great, i just paid 70 bucks for a carwash just so i could park) so jon and i pig out on adobong squid (yes black food is perfect for a day filled with facing people!). yum, satisfaction guaranteed! as the sky cleared, we head out to makati amidst a barrage of texts, calls and updates. as i ease on over to the right lane to make a right at buendia…lo and behold, a pot-bellied cop waves me over and summarily tells me i committed a violation. i FUME. (shempre, unahan ko sha sa katarayan di ba, para makalusot). i must have been VERY convincing that he actually believed me, and para makalusot naman sha, he launched into a comedic “siguro naduling lang ako” spiel complete with facial expressions that i was stunned into utter shock, what the hell was this cop doing? i then decide to rename him BENTOT, and he let me go without a ticket. as we dashed through other errands and meetings, time was tick tick ticking frantically. i hurriedly met the band, chika-ahd quickly at rayban, picked out my free shades, job perk! (adorably red and black) and said my good-byes. we then dove into edsa rush hour with ely not far behind…trying to make the premier night of the eheads concert dvd. traffic was at a crawl and my aching feet in fabulous shoes were ready to revolt. my stomach knotted as time slipped by and i knew in my gut, we were gonna be late. texts here calls there, tickets here, cinema there……..we finally get there and dash to the cinema. what we thought would be a “quiet” premier screening turned out to be a media frenzy complete with ye old red carpet. it was i n s a n e. but fun! everyone was as excited as we were. deep inside though, i felt apprehension, at finally watching the concert. i knew a flood of memories of that fateful day when i took the longest short ride of my life in an ambulance as someone dear to me lay with eyes closed, in pain. the red carpet frenzy made me forget the apprehension. the fans, the cameras, the friends….such love, love for a band, for a man, whose music was the soundtrack of their lives (cliche cliche! sorry hehe)…as we went from one cinema to another, for ely and markus to greet the audience and talk a little about the screening of their short films from cinemalaya…i lapse into momentary nostalgia. these guys have come a long way baby. the concert screening, despite technical difficulties (its the Heads for goodness sake, something ALWAYS has to go wrong hahaha!)…was AWESOME. as i stared at the guys, larger than life on the screen, at the footage of the thousands of enraptured fans singing, smiling, dancing, waving, cheering……i felt PRIDE. the boys did it. finally, a local act pulled off what no one ever thought could happen, fill an open field with minions of people. hurrah for opm!!!!!!! i watched very little of the concert on the night itself, having had to take care of so many things, and tonight, in a darkened theater, i watched, i sang, i clapped, i holla-d, i laughed, and yes, for a teensy moment, i cried. in a way, i guess i am a part of their history, and for having had that chance to be part, i am forever grateful. their music too, has been the soundtrack of MY life.

i collapse at home, in utter exhaustion, and sleep. too many emotions in one day haha.

i’d be a LOUSY rockstar

yes indeed, i definitely would be.  as a manager, im kinda on the the same side of the fence yet not “committed” to the publics expectations and “requirements”, the same way as the artist is…thank god for that.  why?  coz i’d be a lousy rockstar.  for one, my capacity to smile has greatly diminished thru the years and gravity has taken its toll , even on my face, that the medical fact that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, simply DOES NOT apply to me anymore.  the years have also dimmed the memory cells and its gradually become a gargantuan task to remember EVERYONE , and mind you there are a ton of everyone.  producers, musicians, venue owners, production people, directors, writers, booking agents, fans, tv, radio and media, sponsors, former classmate of the neighbor of the cousin of the guy who used to eat at the same canteen for one sem of the band member (eh??)…well, u get it.  haha!  my ability to lower the innate bitch-level inherent in everyone has also seen a decline.  i cannot imagine myself taking pics with people no matter what situation i am in at the moment the pic is requested.  just today, my musician friend was  wolfing down some scrumptuous spaghetti and meatballs with gusto, only to have to get up 5 times to have pics taken and still smile.  try that on me and you’ll get meatballs where the sun dont shine, haha! (ooh bitch mode).  i snidely tell my friend…”you had a noodle on your face during one of the pics”…nyahaha.  im mean, there he was bein nice and i just had to ruin it.  heehee.  neither do i have the uncanny ability to remember someone i met 10 years ago in a radio booth during a radio tour who i probably met for approximately 15 seconds as i signed an album poster.  how do artists do that???  i cant even remember someone i talked to YESTERDAY damnit!  rockstars hardly sleep, or so it seems.  sleep deprivation due to the adrenalin rush of a gig is a normal thing for these guys.  through the years, ive actually morphed into one of these creatures of the night tho (so i guess i CAN be a rockstar for about 30 seconds tops)  as such, i have developed some superpowers worthy of being a character in HEROES.  my power would be the ability to withstand any amount of noise that comes out of a speaker or amp and still be able to doze off or switch off.  thats POWER.

did u ever wonder how heavy a guitar is?  i’d be a lousy rockstar coz after lugging around 40 lb guitars, gadgets, gear, snares, cymbals etc for even one gig, i’d totally give up and become a dancer.  its amazing to see just how much a musician can carry all in one go and still look cool.  in the struggling days when techs and roadies are still not an affordable option, these guys nearly break their backs carrying their sh*t and still have the energy to thrash around on stage AND pose for pics and smile afterwards, still drenched in sweat with an aching back i presume.

they play for peanuts, they play for gas money during “production gigs”, they cram into vans like sardines on long haul roadtrips na “balikan”, they tolerate endless styro-meals of adobo swimming in grease cooked 10 hours before the gig, they wait hours on end till its time for them to go on, they wait hours at tv stations to go on television to play a 2 minute edited version of their song, they have to remember to wear sponsored clothing for corporate commitment even if they already wore it last time or hurridly wash clothes in time for a gig,  they perform when they are sick, sad, lonely, broken hearted, depressed, lost……they save money to buy the gadgets and guitars of their dreams, they bear criticism and critics, they balance family and personal life with career commitments and demands…they fight back anger when they see their blood sweat and tears poured into making an album sold for 40 pesos at “tower recto”.  and thats just some of the “easy stuff”…

i dont have what it takes…i’d be a lousy rockstar.

these guys….they ROCK.

…and the beat goes on and on and on!………….

confession box : strange things i do

we all do strange things. we just never tell people. in the comfort and privacy of my little abode and in living my life in general… i do strange things. don’t we all? ssssssshhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

1. i keep all paperwork. be it bills, work documents, you name it, i keep it. i have faxes SO OLD, that the ink has faded and the paper is clear as a blank piece of paper.

2. i often forget to bring a towel when i take a shower and end up dashing to the next room kinda in the buff to get one. no, i dont have neighbors! (at least none in proximity to see me do this daring and slightly disgusting act) not a pretty sight. trust me.

3. i make coffee, put the cup beside my laptop, and never drink it. a rockstar once went into my home office…cringed…and said…”really day, just how LONG has that been there?” (it takes quite alot to yuckify a rockstar okay)

4. heres a good one. i fall asleep during long phone conversations. yep, i do. i cannot even count the times that a guy has politely texted me the next day that he heard me snort a light snore as he was rambling. WELL……….he was rambling WASNT HE??? it takes two to…..SNORE.

5. i take business calls in my jammies and sound like im in an office bright and early presumably in a business suit. in reality, i havnt even washed my face and im stretched out lazily like an overweight cheshire cat on a sunday afternoon.

6. i trip over non-existent objects. trust me, if the microscopic rock, screw, wire bit, cruddy food product, tansan, you name it..is there….my trusty flat feet find it…and i trip. in bora a few years back, EVERYONE knew of the sawed-off palm tree stump in front of this bar along the path on the beach. i knew it was there…yet, in a weeks time, i had tripped over the same stump repeatedly and ended up buying SEVEN pairs of slippers during my stay.

7. i push away my food like a spoiled brat when i no longer want to eat my food. i push it away far far far from me, to the other side of the table, or as far as i can get it. now THATS an OCD if ever i heard of one. all my friends know this…and await this golden nugget of a moment, when i refuse to eat another bite. wild carabaos dragging me through mud is better than me taking another bite kapag AYAW KO NA.

8. i cry at the slightest emotional thing on tv (touching dramas, the endings of “extreme home makeover”, movies that i have repeatedly watched yet cry at the same scenes all the time, during OPRAH…who doesnt ha? who doesnt???) …yet, i do not cry in frustration, heartache or personal emotional moments. (well rarely)

9. i sometimes read upside down till blood rushes to my head and i feel like jon voight being squeezed by the anaconda in that thoroughly nightmarish scene.

10. i adore household cleaning products as much as women adore clothes , bags and shoes , and spend more time in the household cleaning aisle in the store than the ladies department.

what strange things do you do???  SPILL!

hard habits to break

this morning i read an article on an art exhibit called OCD. apparently its a group of artists who put together an exhibit and their unifying concept is that they have one form of obsessive compulsive disorder or another. yup you read right. one guy has a thing for m&m’s and creates rather stunning mosaic-ish artwork made of m&m’s (what glue he uses, i have not a clue), and the other artist saves bodily fluids, hair and nails (ok, thats um, disgusting), and his “artwork” was not mentioned (for a very good reason i suppose, haha). sometimes i think i have OCD, but then again, they just may be hard habits to break!

1. after locking the front door of the house, as i have already traversed halfway down the hall towards the elevator…i have the strange compulsion to go back , open the door, go to my home office and make sure ive unplugged the laptop. THEN, as i lock the door again, i jiggle the doorknob about a kazillion times to make sure its locked.

2. after locking the car using the remote-thingy, even if i am already rather far away from the car and 100% sure i locked it, i drag my ass back to the car just to check if i locked it. what the hell is my problem with locks anyway???!!!

3. i get totally insecure if there isnt one unopened liter of milk in the ref at ALL TIMES of my existence

4. it is with a broken heart that i must force myself to erase pics from my camera even if i have already downloaded them onto the laptop. i simply CANT! even if memory card is full, i CANT! but have to. so it breaks my heart. *sob*

5. i am addicted to nora roberts writing as j.d. robb. its the “in death” series of books. no matter that i havent eaten lunch, or that the gas tank is nearly goin red, once i pass a fully booked…I HAVE TO BUY one book. or well, two books…wait, maybe three….arrrggghhhh!

6. the ultimate indulgence, second only to the orgasmic rush of eating your most favorite food….is…SCRATCHING A MOSQUITO BITE. come on now…be honest…you are all guilty of this…YOU L O V E IT TOO.

7. buying dvds i never watch. let he who is not guilty cast the first stone! wahahaha….theres somethin bout the way they say…dibidee dibidee dibidee…that just makes you wanna BUY BUY BUY

8. rearranging stuff repeatedly till you actually forget where you put anything and cannot find it when you need it and find it when you dont. GRRRRR.

9. i USED to have a purple fetish and bought everything i saw thats purple. thank goodness i stopped, it was getting kind of odd looking

10. making lists on my blog instead of writing true blue flowing paragraphs

amer-kuh

i grew up there (well, my formative years that is..and have popped in and out of the land of milk and money through the years for various reasons). my passport is blue, which gives me wonderful world access without having to fall in line for grueling hours to get a visa or go through gut-wrenching interviews for some uppity consul to say “yes you may enter our glorious country”. i enjoy hamburgers, fries and coke just like any other human being on this consumptive planet of ours. i speak with a nasal american twaaannnggg that is useful during school programs and event voice-overs giving the audience the illusion that some fabulous blond is speaking to them hidden behind the stage. i’ve travelled across america on endless connecting flights, slept in best westerns and marriotts, rode rollercoasters till i puked and pigged out on ding-dongs, ho-ho’s, twinkies and reese peanut butter cups till i passed out. but pretty much….thats all thats amer-kuhn about me.

hold up though…im not about to diss “my country tis of thee…sweet land of liberty”…i love my muttly heritage of being a brown-american, asian-american, or whatever you may wanna call it. a heritage of asian blood altered in an instant by an oathtaking, as a kid pledging allegiance to the you-nited-states-of-amer-kuh. an upbringing now “fondly” poked at by you-tube girl “Happy Slip”. at the end of the day, PINAY AKO. pinay na mahilig kumain ng fishball, kwek-kwek and mangga with bagoong. pinay na sumasakay ng tricycle at pedicab. pinay na super trip pumunta sa divisoria. pinay na naiiyak sa simbahan pag pasko dahil sa laking pasasalamat na may pamilya ako na nagmamahal sa akin. pinay na mas nakikinig sa OPM keysa kay rihanna. pinay na kahit minsan baluktot pa rin ang tagalog ay pwede makipagsabayan sa kwentuhan ng mga pare na nakatambay sa kanto. pinay na mahilig mag-discover ng mga taong may potential at binibigyan ng trabaho. pinay na ayaw manirahan sa amer-kuh.

pinas. this is my HOME. not amer-kuh.

people ask me BAKEEETTTT? hmmm…lets see….

1. im not excited by the notion of getting a mortgage that i have to pay for out of my rear end just to have a place to call home

2. im not too thrilled with food portions enough to feed 2 1/2 people which are called value meals. (manang, isang kanin at yung sinigang po!)

3. though i love amusement parks, death defying rollercoasters, hot-dog-on-a-stick with a tall cool glass of lemonade……been there done that, and frankly, once you’ve tried it, thats bout it ,unless u have to tour around visiting relatives on holiday =)

4. it unnerves and baffles me, why vegetables at safeway, albertsons, costco, ralphs etc…are unnaturally and frighteningly HUGE (omigod…is that an EGGPLANT????)

5. i DO NOT buy toilet paper by the bushel, soda by the case, chips by the mega-party packs, tortilla chips enough to feed a mexican army, halloween candy enough for 2 years, christmas ribbons in big bags enough till 2010, paper plates/forks and spoons coz im too lazy to wash dishes, family size pizzas by the pair, batteries by the dozens as if there will be a nuclear holocaust tomorrow and i will be forced to live underground and need them to power my transistor radio to find any other living human on the planet

6. im a very slow driver who has great difficulty executing a three point turn and does not know the meaning of a red sign that says STOP when at an empty intersection in the middle of nowhere

7. to me…a “stimulus package” sounds like something erotic rather than something i get in the mail in relation to my taxes and the economy of the country

8. i am not particularly fond of saying “HI! how are you doin today??” to every single person i encounter anywhere…when i don’t really mean it

9. although i am a large cuddly person, i am still not quite large enough to shop at the Big and Tall store (im big and short). although thank heavens for lane bryant!

10. because for all the corruption, poverty and misery in pinas…this is my home. where a sampaguita vendor’s smile warms the heart, where my parents are quietly happy hanging out with fellow oldies at a kainan having coffee, where my mother thoroughly enjoys haggling in a soggy fish market, where my father long retired endlessly toils in his garden, where my daughter has grown up grounded in solid family values while enjoying the material perks of the first world, where even my smallest acts of kindness go a long way and somehow still make a difference, where the music scene is a wellspring of vibrant energy and creative genius, where everyone is the same color despite the marketing ploys to be pinkish-white is overwhelming…where every balikbayan is thrilled to be during those 2 precious weeks in a year when they can come home and eat “real lechon”…………it is…….HOME. =)

discoveries

i’ve realized that for quite some time now…part of me has been living on a different planet altogether. hence….some DISCOVERIES! (at least in my world)

1. automated parking card ticket machines which greet you AND take your picture (yes, this is true) have replaced human beings at the glorietta basement parking lot

2. MSG is not entirely bad for you. TRY IT. a friend emancipated me from monosodium-glutamate-ignoransitis just this morning. go ajinomoto! killer statement , i guess was….”if it causes chinese restaurant syndrome, why don’t 2 billion (read it. BILLION)chinese people have stomach aches?” …AAAAHHHH YEAH!

3. some of the stuff we download on LIMEWIRE aint what it seems. what seems like a fairly good intro before you click “download” shortly thereafter becomes either a repeated riff like a scratched cd that jumps or a cut song, or static hell, or incomplete song, or worst of all….the wrong effing song!!!! SO…….listen to the track in FULL before you download!!

4. there exists, lo and behold……..A LADIES/PREGNANT WOMEN/FEMALE SENIOR CITIZENS area on the MRT!!! who woulda known??? kick me, i just found that out recently…as my friend gingerly told me, as i fell in in line with the garden variety males of various shapes, scents (ewww) and sizes in the regular mrt car areas

5. a tricycle ride is more expensive if you ride ALONE instead of waiting for a stranger with a big ass to share the ride with you. i truly, truly, didnt know that. sheesh. i actually thought i was getting charged for being alone AND having a big ass.

so much for discovering new things! =)

life as i know it…or think i do!

wow , bigat ng title haha…simply because i didnt have a title in my head and decided that to make up for the seemingly meaningless entry to come, i must have an absolutely fab title. =)

perhaps this should be titled “slacker blogger part deux” coz its been a really long time since ive written a sliver of anything. tonight, after a day that seemed to crawl on forever, i thought of popping into my dormant blog to tickle its fancy just a teensy bit. forgive me if i ramble. when have i not? HA!

ive had the itch to write, for quite awhile, but many things have prevented me from doing so. the obvious one of course, is age old excuse FATHER TIME (who i think is married to MOTHER EARTH…ehehehe, im so witty). ok, so… no time, got it, good excuse, not to exercise my cerebral cortex by writing. secondly, PARANOIA. in the past months, i have discovered the power of the internet (ok yeah i shouldve known long ago haha). its just that with recent events, ive learned that ANYTHING i post online has potential to become internet fodder to be posted and reposted until it reaches the itsy bitsy corners of the internet universe of the butthole surfer. that doesnt mean anything, i just remembered the word “butthole surfer” and wanted to type it. it sounds gross tho, butthole surfer. damnit…………STOP ME! ive typed it three times already, YUCK.

anywayyyyy……remember how i said this entry is MEANINGLESS? THERE YA GO!!!!

p.s. i will collate my thoughts and write again soon. no one may be reading my seemingly discontinued blog anymore, but…ive also discovered that aside from sharing thoughts to anonymous strangers (and occasional friends who find the time to)…its great way to keep a diary for posterity without buying actual paper and slaving through my STILL doctor-ish penmanship (which is the only doctorly thing about me these days haha!)

so silent readers………WELCOME ME BACK!!!!! hiphip—–HOOORAYYYYY!

(self-love in the house!!!!!!!! wut wut wut!)

and then he danced!

sometimes you think you really know a person..only to come to a delightful and sometimes..funny revelation…ive long known of his astute intelligence and throw-down-hands-up humor which never ceases to crack me up…ive known of his compassionate heart and loyalty to serving the fellowman with his wondrous healing hands, laboring for hours in the operating room with blueroom music as the calming background…ive known of his shared obsession with music of all genres and have drowned in his cd’s after hours of "name that tune" with selections spanning decades and genres…ive known of his gentlemanly and respectful ways in this era when chivalry has seen a sad demise…ive known of his gentle heart and deep dedication to family…..and then he danced.  danced?  yes…danced!  i was dumbstruck with amazement and hilarity at the revelation and subsequent lengthy demonstration of dance steps i havnt seen in over a decade!  my tummy ached from the laughter as each track on the cd put him into a frenzy of "do you remember this?" with simultaneous tv-dance-group-caliber movements.  ….four (yes, FOUR) hours, 8 cd’s and alot of mineral water later….i could only smile. (no more energy to laugh)…indeed, revelations are golden.  perhaps next time he will…pray tell…..SING!

doha stories: of camwhoring, sands and sea, camel trauma

beautiful.  my breathe was taken away when we hit the dunes of ummsaid after an hour drive from doha.  yani quipped somewhere along the way.."if u stood right out there, you can truthfully say, ur in the middle of nowhere".  as far as the eye can see, at that point, not a building, tree, nor bush.  just sand, sand, and still more sand.  (and rocks of course).  we excitedly whipped out our cameras at the first site of what looked like a sand dune, an oil refinery and of course…our first official camel!  the band and i have become a rowdy group of bandits of "quick-draw-mcgraws", as dok calls us, especially me.  (in reference to the time in baguio that i literally crawled across and over him to get a shot of a doggie parade)…qatar was no different.  from the moment we spotted the "kar-wa" taxis of a yummy shade of pale green all lined up at the airport upon our arrival …to the stealth shots taken at the souq waquif (wrong spelling sorry) during the shopping frenzy before our departure…the cams were everywhere, anytime, anyplace.  perhaps the two highlights of this camwhoring lunacy was one, at kalifa stadium where we spent 30 minutes of frenzied (but failed) attempts at trick photography (which we were mildly successful at in bicol with that chapel steeple) to, secondly, when upon reaching the top of a sand dune after a wild screaming ride in 4WD’s , we reached the breathtaking view from the top, summarily dumping ALL our cameras on ely to take our pics (no mean feat mind you!). lest u think us unfair, he has ONE foto taken by moi, haha.  ummsaid was the union of sand and sea, and just simply amazing!  we scrambled out of our vehicles, ditched our shoes and hit the sands to take the customary facebook/friendster pics haha!  the wind was crisp with a chill as we dug our toes into soft sands even creamier than boracay.  yan and wendell scavanged for teeny shells.  of course wendell found something odd, a huge and insanely heavy stone tile (eh?) in the sand, which of course, ended up going through the x-ray at the airport accompanied by highly suspicious stares from the technician.  we zoomed through the sands in four wheel drives, held our breathe during the soft glide down and thrilled at the show-offs in the atv’s.  off to the camels!  some went ahead, as we figured we only saw 3 camels so best they give it a go (cautionary behavior at its best).  as my car approached them, i saw ely trotting along gracefully and immediately thought…i can do that!  me! me! me!  tsk tsk.  he looked as complacent as if he were on the merry-go-round at fiesta carnival (well, at least in the 90’s).  camels are the cutest!  but that smile….DECEIT!  the very second i got on, my butt cushioned by layers of worn tapestry with only a small leather handle to hold on to…i knew i bit off more than i can chew.  he suddenly stood up, on knees, then full legs……..and i was 7 feet in the air.  HORROR.  i had NEVER been afraid of heights, never!  but for some reason…with my legs spread wide, a camels spine poking my butt and a deep feeling of dread mixed with loss of confidence in my capability to balance brought upon the classic textbook PANIC ATTACK!  my heart pounded and my mind in a frenzy with fear of falling.  i’d be damned if i had a heart attack because of a camel ride…but it was genuine terror at the time…..aaaarrrgggghhhh!  as the camel walked faster and broke into a trot, i bounced and held on for life! My mind was in a paranoid frightful blur…ely running beside us…yani yelling to sway my butt to his movements…jon taking pics and video (of course it must be recorded history, or course!), dok staring in disbelief, silently swearing he will not get on a camel….the camel-guy snickering under his scruffy beard at the hysterical asian….diane yelling words of encouragement…"kaya mo yan!!!!"…needless to say, i survived.  im here writing this entry AREN’T I?  hehehe.  of course, my post camel-ride pics showed zilcho of the "minor" trauma i had just experienced, instead shows a smiling laughing me…but inside, my insides were twisted and my heart screaming for catapress.  to commemorate my trauma, later in the evening…i bought not one…but TWO camels =)  one for my sweetie, and one for moi.  thats the closest i will ever get to a camel from now on.  THE END.